Turning 12 is hard sometimes

Em is turning 12 soon. She wants to have an Alice in Wonderland party. No problems here kiddo. We've come up with some great ideas for decorations and games. I've told her she can use real china cups, white linen, the silver tea service - and have a Mad Hatter's Tea Party. She wants to be Alice and after a small spat with Claire at 7.30am one morning we resolved that Claire will not be an alternative (read smaller/cuter) Alice but the White Rabbit (bribed with the promised use of an impressive pocket watch on a chain that I just happen to have).

So what's the problem? Well turning 12. Her great enthusiasm has been dampened somewhat by the response of a couple of friends. She made the mistake of seeking approval of the plan rather than just extending the invitation to come and join the fun. These little girls are turning into young women - this is her last chance to have this sort of party. Next year she'll be in high school and turning 13 and she and her friends will be old enough to think it's naff rather than fun. Some are already teetering on the brink - involved with boyfriends and flirting with eating disorders. She's worried that everyone will think she's a baby and/or that they won't come.

We had a long conversation about deciding whether to follow the crowd or lead it and whether pursuing friendships with people who think they are better than you or too cool to come and help celebrate your birthday are worth the effort.

In the end mummy logic prevailed over the quivering bottom lip and the boo boo face and she's now back into highly enthusiastic mode. Gulp! No pressure there - I'll just be eternally damned if the party's a flop.

So the invitations are printed and ready to hand out. We'll put up a marquee in the garden (a friends gazebo), lay trestle tables with white linen and put out the silver tea service (probably filled with peach flavoured ice tea) and the china tea cups. We'll serve ribbon sandwiches, jam tarts, chocolate dipped strawberries, cookies iced with the word "eat me" and little iced cupcakes. We'll decant the fizzy drinks into coloured glass bottles with labels that say "drink me". I've promised a red velvet heart shaped birthday cake with red fondant icing and iced flowers. And if anyone wants to get too snooty then I shall say "Off With Their Heads".